Kelsey

This girl made my day yesterday with a cool email. I found out Adam liked one of my favorite songs, Africa by Toto and that he liked to blast it and sing along. And most important, that he shared it was one of his dad's and my songs.

This is a blog post from 2014:

Half of Nothing is Everything

There's an essay circulating around Facebook called "16 Things Only Half-Siblings Understand."  I've tried not to use that term, which I despise, half brother, with my boys. To me they are brothers, even though they have different last names and different dads. I realize because of the almost five year age difference, some people don't know Adam is related to Eli and Cal, or that the younger boys even have an older brother, and vice versa. They are probably not aware that like most big brothers, Adam took his responsibility for “toughening up” his little brothers as seriously as the next guy, and that they share as many memories and inside jokes as the boys on My Three Sons.

The realization that Adam had a different dad and would go off with him periodically when they were little, I believe led Eli to invent "my dad with the monkeys" who was his imaginary dad who owned an ice cream store, and a castle and an amusement park. He must have found it quite mysterious and wondrous that Adam had another life outside of our family, so much that he created his own make-believe world away from us. This prompted Cal to chime in with all the cool stuff he got to do with "my dad with the giraffes."  Later we were all able to spend time with Adam's paternal grandparents going to Nebraska football games and chilling at the lake, thus brining that magical world into their lives.

The truth is, Adam has been the longest term relationship of my adult life. He has been with me longer than my marriage, or any other friendships. I know we are bonded by that, however awkward different stages have been. There was a time I actually picked up old receipts off his bedroom floor and read them, to see where he had been and what he bought, since I felt so little a part of his life. On the other hand, I do know that he loves beef jerky, can’t walk away from a debate, and eschews sweets other than Oreo Shakes. My Tiger Mama instincts came out once when an ignorant clergy once suggested that I hadn't raised Adam, because somehow his faulty memory or the fact that Adam didn't want to attend his f---ing stupid fake church services drew him to the conclusion I had abdicated my responsibility as a parent.  *probably need to let go of that resentment*

Adam actually helped me attract my current spouse, helped keep us together in ways he may not even know, and was even a chick magnet for his Uncle Chris. Yes, he was a pretty cute, awesome and precocious tyke. My special name for him is "best boy," and I want him to know he is 1/3 of my Everything.