💔

I've had a heavy heart for a few days now. Anything from a Clima cool shoe to seeing a few of his old friends to staring at a bottle of Aveeno lotion in Walgreens to yet another trip to Springfield, this time for the AFSP, an organization I wouldn't even be aware of three and a half years ago. I want him here. Why can't he be here? Too many family events missing his wry ironic self.

I listened to Cal's music video tributes and hope that the things we do will help one person. Everyone has value even when they can't see or feel it. Redemption is possible. From One human to another, hang in there. This too shall pass. Keep trying. ☮ out.

Father's Day

I've been warding off feelings, that sinking, sick feeling of remembering and facing how long it's been since we've seen Adam. I don't know if this day is why, this month of his birthday, the family reunions without him here again. The things that have happened since his death, even advances in technology he would have jumped on. It seems like everyone has moved on when they say unintentionally heartless things. I think it's time to let myself feel and have a good cry. There are worse things.