Sunday, June 16, 2019
Father's Day
I've been warding off feelings, that sinking, sick feeling of remembering and facing how long it's been since we've seen Adam. I don't know if this day is why, this month of his birthday, the family reunions without him here again. The things that have happened since his death, even advances in technology he would have jumped on. It seems like everyone has moved on when they say unintentionally heartless things. I think it's time to let myself feel and have a good cry. There are worse things.
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2 comments:
Is it moving on or moving into acceptance? Sometimes I still feel like I'm in denial and that Adam will turn up at some future holiday or family event...since he had moved out on his own and wasn't around as much, I keep tricking myself into thinking he's just not able to make it this time... When I was in Detroit with my co-workers and saw that Dave Chappelle marquis and the people waiting to go inside, my eyes welled up with tears and it was a reminder of the loss, but also funny because I got such a clear memory of those chats with Adam about the Chappelle Show and I hadn't thought of that since before he died. So memories can get triggered at any time and bring tears, but also smiles so I guess I'm trying to be grateful when I get a new memory or a refreshed memory rather. I kind of walked behind my co-workers for a bit while I wiped away my tears and then later in the hotel I had a good cry...
thanks for sharing Bitty
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