Short Memory

My son gave me some good advice over this last little time together. I was stewing and rehashing an event that happened. Shoulda, coulda, woulda, yadda, yadda. He said the best advice he ever got from, I believe it was Robbie, his supervising teacher during student teaching, was to have a short memory. He gave the example of having a short memory about losing our trip to Australia; money spent or wasted is not going to get him down.

At first I balked, and argued, I must remember this, I must learn from this. I don't want to forget this and make the same mistake again. I must figure this out. I must do better.

Then I stopped and realized, there's nothing I can do right now, and I do need to stop overthinking this. The little phrase "short memory" has since come back to me several times and is just the quick reminder I need to move on and not let things eat me up.

Thanks Cal, you're a wise young man. And I'm glad I found your headphones, as I know you were struggling to have a short memory on that one.

Words of Affirmation

My love language is Words of Affirmation, so that is the one I tend to give to others first. During my meditation today, I thought I would like to affirm the special people in my life.

Shout out to my kids, whom I couldn't be more proud of. Cal is inquisitive, deep, connected, and thoughtful. Eli is silly, creative, bright, and accepting. Hannah is loving, intelligent, soulful, and social. Adam is a straight shooter, brilliant, lively, and haunting.

Pat, who has been by my side 29 years and counting, no matter what, is reliable, funny-goofy, hard-working, and wholesome.

What the heck, I'm going to just do up the whole family.

Ethan is talented, heart-driven, sensitive, and gentle. Betsy is kind, hilarious, tenacious, and emotional. Chuck is family-oriented, helpful, knowledgeable, and charitable.

Michael is smart, athletic, funny, and adroit. Megan is adventurous, special, persistent, and joyful. Laura is artistic, committed, lovely, and caring. Chris is jocular, devoted, ethical, and steadfast.
Donna is nurturing, busy, spiritual, and adaptable.

Mom is clever, giving, assertive, and authentic. Dad is sharp-witted, tender-hearted, poetic, and brave.

It's just like the empty nest all over again. Cal is headed back to Florida to prepare for his new teaching job and soak up the last bits of summer. Hannah and Eli are continuing on their journey to visit her side of the family.

We had a bustling two weeks of camp fires, homemade ice cream, birthday celebrations, games, getting the pontoon stuck on a mud bank, musical performances, swimming in a borrowed pool, visiting, and food, lots of food.

I didn't think I was going to feel this let down this time, but I do. So many fun and exciting things happened over the past two weeks, I should be filled with gratitude and contentment. I'll get there. I'm going to honor this moment, this time of feeling blue and empty. It could also be the beans, which emptied me of my entire digestive tract in a most inconvenient manner.

On another note, I started reading my dad's journals, the seven or so assigned to me. Equal amounts assigned to my siblings. I have to say, they are pretty boring. If I am boring you like this, please stop reading or tell me. Maybe I am the only person who thinks I am interesting...

Corona+

I remember in March when I heard the first murmurings of "quarantine." Some local students returned early from Denmark and had to self-quarantine at home for two weeks. That sounded absolutely impossible. By March 21, the entire state of Illinois was ordered to stay at home for two weeks and schools were closed, a biggie.

It was confusing at first, but I showed up for work Monday unclear what Stay At Home really meant. Deemed an 'essential worker' in mental health, we continued to work, and I was grateful I wouldn't find out what it meant to really stay home for any amount of weeks. I like my structure and routine. We got set up to meet most of our customers at home through tele-health. 

Then we had a nice surprise, our kids came home since public school teachers and grad students were sent home. It was nice to hang out an extra time since we had just seen each other in February for Dad's memorial service. 

Two weeks of quarantine turned into all of April, then unbelievably all of May. Watching the virus numbers climb, and the death toll rise. 

Now it is July, and where the H did time go? I feel like this was the quickest 6 months of my life. Now we are together again (my family of origin plus my kids). Florida folks are here but they have tested negative for Covid. They are writing and playing music and hanging out. Aside from masks in public, everything feels pretty normal. Let's hope we all stay healthy.