As told to a packed house 6-6-16...
The Qualities of
Chocolate Milk
Adam was the first, like his namesake. The first in our world. The first grandchild, the first nephew—he was
there at the beginning. He held all our
love for a long time. More kids followed for all of us, but he was the leader,
the one they could look to for life lessons—how to persevere, be strong.
Adam could be a bit of a contrarian—was that an
understatement? Sometimes we’d be having
a conversation, and I’d think, “Wait, am I in an argument with Adam? Crap, yes, I’m arguing with Adam. And not only that, I’m losing this argument I
didn’t know I was in—grrr.” But if we
were in a group, I always wanted Adam on my side. I didn’t want to go up against him—his
passion, his fierceness. He was also a
defender—he’d take up for someone if he saw them faltering. He did that for Ethan a lot—stepping in to
help him make his point, showing him how to clarify. I knew Ethan was listening, learning because
after we saw Adam, Ethan would be a little more defiant, more challenging and
he’d echo Adam’s arguments. How many
times over the years did I say, “You sound just like Adam”? I know his brothers learned the same, the
courage to stand up for their convictions, to express their thoughts and be
heard.
But that was only a part of Adam’s larger interest in
life—in questioning and examining. When
Adam was about 13, he took a trip with Mom, Dad, Ethan and me to North
Dakota. (Adam was always ready to
go—traveling even when he was still.) At
every meal, he’d order chocolate milk.
Now to most of us, chocolate milk is just a drink to go with your
meal—not that interesting. If you asked
most kids how was the milk, they’d say fine or good. But to Adam every glass was unique. Was it pre-made or did they add chocolate to
the milk? If so, was it enough chocolate
or too much? Was it stirred properly or
was the long spoon left in it so Adam could stir as he went. Did you know sometimes they don’t bother to
stir it, leaving that to the customer?
He even developed a rating system, comparing the milks along the
way. How could he make milk so
interesting? I don’t know, but we all looked
forward to that first sip, then listening to Adam expound on the qualities of
chocolate milk. I’m sure you can all
think of examples like that. Adam could
exasperate you, but you loved him all the more for it in the end because he
cared so much about things and people many of us would never even notice. He made you pay attention.
The last time I saw Adam, I told him to come give me a hug.
He slowly unfolded himself from the couch, stood and stretched. (Did you ever notice how deliberate he was in
his movement?) As he walked toward me
for his hug, he said, with that edge of laughter in his voice that also
contained some uncertainty, “Why? You’ll
only tell me how skinny I am…” And it
was true, I had been bugging him about that lately and was always worrying over
him. I told him, no, I wasn’t going to
say that. And, as I held him, I said,
“You’re perfect.” And he was.
So the waitress at Sunrise Cafe made my chocolate milk into a smiley face. How cuuuuutttteeee.
--Ashleigh Elizabeth Lockhart, 2/12/16
So the waitress at Sunrise Cafe made my chocolate milk into a smiley face. How cuuuuutttteeee.
--Ashleigh Elizabeth Lockhart, 2/12/16


2 comments:
Chuck would vote for the Dark Chocolate Almond milk! Again, thank you for adding pictures. Awesome.
This post makes me so happy. I never knew about his chocolate milk obsession. I love it. That is so adorable and I can totally see his face when he took the first sip and discussed how it tasted. The last part of this post made me cry....I can hear him saying that and I can picture him walking towards you and giving you a hug. He was skinny..and I always told him the same thing..but he always have nice hugs too. You could tell his hugs were very genuine. I miss him.
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