Whaaaat?

I just noticed that blogger is underlining certain words in my blog and turning them into ads, if you click on them, or even hover over them.  That might be cause to rebel, because god knows blogger needs my fan-dom to sell things (like flu shots). 

It was a funny, quiet day. I had nothing on my agenda.  Jojo had a jazz concert this evening, but I've been to Bloomington Normal just about enough this fall and another 4 hour drive was never really in the cards. Instead, Pat got some plastic on some west facing windows, cleaning them and the curtains which badly needed it. 

I've enjoyed catching up on some other blogs today, when taking a break from my Kindle book, "A Discovery of Witches."  A bit predictable, the witch and vampire will be getting together.

Columbus Day Weekend

Nice (for me) that public schools still (sometimes) get Columbus Day off.  I sure feel like I needed a 3 day weekend.  Either, my students are struggling more than usual, or in my third year, I am being sought out more, I don't know, but I feel I've been going hard at work for weeks now.  There is always that getting to know you period in the beginning of the year, where I question am I handling things right with the new students and sometimes the familiar ones? 

Friday night I got four books at the public library for the three day weekend.  I had just finished "Gone Girl" by Gillian Flynn- that was some crazy sh--.  I waited a couple of months for that one to be available.  These four books were by familiar authors, but I wasn't sure if I would like them, so I took out four at once.  Almost done with the first.  So when I went outside to walk to Walgreens in my hobo chic staying in outfit this afternoon, my eyes hurt and I realized I need to mix it up more, though I have cleaned and been to the Y, the salon, Hy-Vee, Walmart, Niemanns, Walgeen's, Sullivan Taylor, Kmart, The Crossing, Dairy Queen, and my dad's house since leaving work on Friday.

My mom and Pat coincidentally have been in Florida this weekend.  Pat to attend his nephew's wedding in Panama Beach, FL and my mom traveling with Betsy and Nephew 13 to Orlando for a week of amusements at Universal Studios.

Productive Weekend

Late in the day Friday I decided to make the trip to attend one of Boy19's jazz concerts after work. I had held off a decision and see how I felt.  I had had a busy week with a blood donation and flu shot the night before. Sometimes by Friday I just want to go home and chill and this little trip would make about an 18 hour day.  I had a challenging but invigorating day so I decided to go for it. 

I got to Normal about 4:45, plenty of time for dinner out with Boy19.  We invited his roommate but he had marching band practice.  Boy19 chose Outback Steakhouse, a place I unbelievably had never been. I wasn't in the mood for steak, but it's not about ME now is it?  When we pulled up I saw a quaint Indian restaurant and asked if he would like to try it, but he was afraid the spicy food would  dry up his mouth for playing trumpet??  So, in we went.  The loud music and noise from all the diners was reverberating through my bones, but I soldiered on.  Boy19 enjoyed his "Chicken on the Barbie" and we shared a yummy guacamole and crab appetizer, but I could only eat a few bites of my salad entre. 

We got back to campus just in time for his dress rehearsal while I took a nap in the parking garage.  The concert began at 8 pm and the program looked rather short, five pieces for Jazz II and six numbers for Jazz I, which it turned out I had miscounted; there were seven.  I had forgotten how long one improvisational jazz tune can last...Boy18 sat with me during the Jazz II set. I studiously took notes,which I always do so I can comment afterwards on specific details and impressions I have.

Boy19, oh what the hell, he's a grown man.  Jojo shared lead in the Jazz I band.  This apparently doesn't entitle you to solos where you walk up front to the microphone, or even solo from your place in the band much.  I was busy taping one song with the Ipad and almost didn't notice he did have a short solo.  They were pro.  I thought Jazz II sounded good until Jojo's group played. Wow.  Very proud mama.

The two hour drive back home was pretty monotonous but I listened to this buttery voice named "Delilah" who was sending out romantic songs for lovelorn middle aged lonely hearts (from what I could tell). 

Saturday night I was out late again chaperoning an unnamed high school homecoming dance. For the first hour I took money for those who had not purchased tickets in advance. The going rate is $15 in case you're interested.  I also marveled at the how the administrator checked ID's and commanded the young people to her will, and the teacher who found the forms for the guests who were not students.  We were absolutely slammed with students for 45 minutes straight, and there were ticket takers at other doors.  I had no idea.

Pretty much as expected, the new dirty dancing has the girl rubbing her behind against the boy's frontside for three hours straight.  I was waiting all night to hear the song "Gangum Style," the youtube sensation I recently discovered.  There was also a fun song where the kids do what looks like a line dance; Cal tells me it's called "Cupid Shuffle" which is about five years old so I guess I am not so down with the times. 

I feel I earned my $50 by breaking up two extended tongue entwined interactions, one ridiculous display of three year old horseplay, two boys whose hands were dangerously close to the fire alarm, and circling in and around the dance floor for two hours straight.  Afterwards, I helped tear down the pretty cool decorations before arriving home at 1:00 a.m.

That brings me to today.  However, I am really needing to get my clothes and self ready for another work week so here's the unembellished version of my productive day: visit parents, clean oven, wrk out, drop off snack for theater party, get gas, take nap, go to the library, make lasagna, eat lasagna, take walk, watch football, read blogs, write blog, say good night.

Good Night!

SIU Visit

When did my little Momma's boy who followed me from room to room and put his arms around my neck and wouldn't let go turn into the 5'11" and growing surly young man who is old enough to go on a college visit?
After driving five hours we arrived in Carbondale and the good people there gave us some sage advice: most of the motels in Carbondale are, how can I say this, temporary crack houses, or places you take your new ‘friend’ for a few hours. I asked a biker guy if he thought the Comfort Inn would have bed bugs and he replied, “Pretty much anywhere in town you’re gonna have a problem with critters.” Oh great. He directed us to where he thought we were going on the East side of town, and turns out the Comfort Inn is only 19 months old, not long enough to get bed bugs, right? I checked just in case, though it was really, really nice and clean.
After dinner at Panera and noticing the maroon polos and SIU license plates, we lucked onto campus by accident. We heard music and saw people flooding towards center of the university with coolers. We got out and walked along, noticing open alcohol all around, amidst the families, students and elder community people. The full moon was out, a band from Chicago was set to take the outdoor stage and we decided to head on over to the new football stadium.
Two guys were hosing off some dirt in front of the stadium and said we could go on in. Later I talked with the night shift worker and he was an honest to goodness good guy. How easy for him to make a good impression of the school and town of Carbondale, as being somewhere I would send my son. The turf stadium with box suites was really nice and we were directed over to the basketball arena across the parking lot. Both beat the pants off what WIU has for athletic facilities.

Blogger has changed and as I mentioned last post, I don't like change very well.  I've had a few thoughts rattling around in my brain recently. One has to do with getting old, the other about my children growing up.  The third, which is not worth focusing on, about needing to be happier, not liking my attitude lately. 

Taking some laundry out of the machine the other day, I was struck by how long Boy17's baseball pants have gotten. It seems like he was the same size of baseball pants for literally 10 years, and suddenly, he has these super long baseball pants.  Now the boys are 24, 19 and 17 (almost 18). Sometimes that makes me happy, when I think about how much I wouldn't want to be changing diapers or chasing toddlers around, or even going to another school event.  I have become far too selfish and self absorbed for that. 

So, getting old.  I noticed a few telltale signs.  One day I was lying on the couch having an allergy attack, and was too lazy to get up to throw away my kleenex, when I instinctively tucked it into my sleeve.  Gasp, that's why old people go around with kleenex up their sleeve, one disgusting activity I thought I would NEVER engage in.  Well, I have.  It was almost enough to motivate me to get it up and throw it away, but not quite.  Then I noticed I have a pile of clothes in my room which are only slightly worn.  Gasp, I am wearing dirty clothes!  I even pick them up off the floor sometimes and put them on.  To top if off, I don't always wash my hair everyday.  I feel like it's just "drying out" too much. Gasp, all of this leads to me occasionally get a whiff of myself smelling like a grandparent. 

Perhaps these persistent thoughts are what is causing me to feel unhappy, negative and worthless.  I am glad I discharged them to this blog, because I was so convinced they would just make fascinating blog material. Cognitive behavioral therapy says I can just change those cognitions and be happy. Metacognition: thinking about your thinking. So that is my little goal for today. 

End of April

It's almost terrifying to be posting here.  I think the format has changed again and I am such a creature of habit.  I am having trouble navigating around blogger. 
This is more of an Arm Meat post, but oh well. We had our last senior night last night (baseball).  It was anti-climatic.  Tonight was Mr. Bomber and boy17 was a contestant. He had some pretty good bits (causual wear, cheer, formal wear) and his talent was pretty funny. If I get fancy I'll try and post the video.  There are so many things to do before graduation and I am happy to say my kitchen is 100% remodeled.  A very amazing transformation (and seven weeks of chaos). Actually the chaos the rest of the house was thrown into is still existing. 
Boy19 is finishing up his freshman year of college, but at this moment I can hear him and his girlfriend giggling in the back room.  She emceed the Mr. Bomber show tonight along with Peppermint Patty. 

It's been slightly over one year since I blogged???? I ran into a problem that deterred me terribly. I would be typing along and get some really great material going, then go to publish and it wouldn't publish. It just stayed like a draft. I could copy and paste, and send it to "The Family News" but that was about it. I'm going to push the magic button before I get too invested in this and see what happens.

Where

April is slipping away

I can't believe how fast time is going. I was speaking with an old classmate yesterday whose theory was that time accelerates as we age because it is such a smaller portion of our total time lived. For exampe, one year to a 10 year is 1/10th of their life and so it seems very long. At almost 50, one year is only 1/50th of the time I have spent on earth, and so it goes very quickly. My thought was that our brain and soul becomes so full of memories and experiences, and that somehow makes time go more quickly. Or perhaps there is just so much activity and things to do the older we get that time seems to speed up exponentially.

Yesterday there was volunteering for a band event (two hours), meeting about a class reunion (one hour), birthday lunch with Uncle Cal (age 86) (I think time may slow down again once we are that old) (two hours), working out (1.5 hours), nap (1.5 hours), grocery shopping (1 hour), dinner making and eating (1.5 hours), schoolwork (one hour), checkbook balancing and bill paying (.5 hour), walk (.5 hour). Did I mention Facebook? 5 minutes here, 5 minutes there, honestly, there is nothing interesting going on there.

So today there is the parent visit, Boy18 brass recital, working out, cleaning dirty house, more schoolwork (my class is almost done!), etc. etc. And back to school tomorrow.

Just Saying

It's a glorious day!!! Nothing better to do than be outside on a day like today.

Facebook Break

Facebook is just too unsettling and much of a time waster. There's nothing there, yet I stare at it like some monumentous information is going to suddenly appear. So that's that.

Double header today. A full week of baseball. 7 games in 6 days. I missed the only two games Boy16 started in. He did well in the field and at the plate, just too many guys in the infield to fit in the line up.

Yesterday Pat and I took a short trip to Springfield to see Boy/Man22. My maternal instincts suddenly kicked in and I needed to put eyes on him. Seems to be doing okay. We had what we thought were inaccurate mapquest directions. Couldn't find the place. Drove around for while and finally saw a gas station. Pat started asking a state policeman who was getting gas where to find Burton Drive. He couldn't explain it, then didn't think the number was right. Said he would check his computer, then just radioed "the city" and got the directions. Tried to explain how to get there with the one ways, then just said, "I'll take ya." First thought, Great! Second thought, should I bring the state police to this place?? Well, we flew around some corners and streets and there we were. Turn out, mapquest was right. Pat read .08 miles as .8 miles so we missed a street. We were only a block away originally. The rental is a cracker box of a place with a dude parked on the living room floor on an air mattress under some covers looking at a laptop (Shashi, a self proclaimed grad student) at two in the afternoon.

It seems my cousin Bill in Manhattan KS, has slipped into a coma is not expected to recover due to terminal cancer. We had no idea things were this bad until this week. In fact, we were hopeful the cancer was in remission. But it would be like Bill not to share bad news. His sister died by suicide two and a half years ago, so it is rough on the family. My aunt and uncle are not in very good health either.

Almost the 28th of March

In my flannels and bathrobe before 8:00. March is going out like a lion, and I, for one, am getting damn sick of it. We had a nice birthday celebration for Mom tonight at what was supposed to be Shiloh's (fine dining) but turned about to be Chicks (casual dining). She says, "You're only 75 once" to which I replied, "You're only any age once." I am getting so cranky and irritable in my middle age. And if AARP sends me one more solicitation before I am 50, I am going to take serious legal action.

Pat is in the bathroom screaming and swearing at the toilet he's trying to fix. Boy18 gets bent on harping on certain household enigmas of which there are many in this home, and the toilet running downstairs is the latest of those that apparently finally got on Pat's nerves, too. Why he would start this at 8 p.m. on a Sunday, maybe BIL Chuck can answer. Boy18 has decided to invite his girlfriend over to run lines for the play in the middle of this project which adds yet another layer of complication to this state.

It is back to work tomorrow after a peaceful week of spring break. I did accomplish some of my to do list, including completing Module 2 (of 3) for my grad class, getting Boy16's baseball t-shirt quilt sewn together but not tied, daily exercise, and Bjarke's scrapbook all but ready to mail when Boy16 gives me his narrative account of the trip to include on the last page. Some of you may have see the pictures of the pages on Facebook. I managed to erase an entire disk of some 500 pictures and videos of Denmark without having saved them to my computer. Luckily this time Vibe has copies. Some may remember how devastated she was when Boy18 visited in 2008 and 400-500 of her pictures mysteriously disappeared when she went to have them printed. She was not fooled this time but the curse must have extended to me.

Wednesday Chatter

I asked Boy16 how the Viking Museum (Roskilde) and the cathedral where some royals are buried was and he replied:

They were pretty cool, I liked them because we didn't have a tour guide we could just walk around and look at stuff on our own. Today at school was very interesting, it's way different over here. Everyone in class has a laptop and you can be on facebook or playing games or listening to music during class. And they get out at 130 and have a recess and lunch which is nice. We talked to the 8 th graders and I got interviewed for the newspaper!I noticed in Russia the royals are "buried" in the cathedrals, too. I find that a little odd and don't remember the explanation for this. We went to the church in St. Petersburg where Czar Nicholas and his family is 'resting' all except Anastasia whose body was never found...sparking all the folklore that she survived.

They love their royals in Denmark, I do remember that. One of the princes is the golden boy, the other a cad, maybe even divorced.

So, no pictures out of Denmark yet. I wish! I hope he is taking some, lots of the people.

Well, it's off for my second time seeing Black Swan. I thought Pat would like it, so I'll force myself through it, nod nod wink wink.

I saw this ad on Freecycle, a service where people give and receive items with no monetary exchange. It's kind of sad when people put animals up on such a site. Often people will chime in and criticize the owners if there is any hint of abuse or neglect or even thoughtlessness:

I have a 1 1/2 year old lab/german shepherd mix that needs a good home. She is a good girl, but I don't have the time to give her. You may reply to this email or call 309-333-7289.

I am slowly working through my grad classs on Engaging Troubling Students. The word "troubling" bothered me at first because it sounds like we are troubled or bothered by the students. Judgemental, like they are getting in our way. In reality, I wouldn't have a job if not for these students troubling someone. I thought 'troubled students' was more accurate, but who am I say they are troubled? They may think they are perfectly fine. Somewhere along the way, my students have been labeled emotionally or behavior disordered. That means, they don't fit in well with the general students and teachers. Some are just quirky, weird, or odd. Others are volatile, defiant and bold. Many have learned this from having to protect themselves out in the world or in their own homes. The emotional disorders are more those with a mental health diagnosis that is front and center. Some are in the program because they are picked on or bullied. This class I am taking is an alternative to a strict behavioral approach (rules-rewards-punishment). Towards support, understanding and a participatory classroom structure.

And now from Denmark (Friday):

Dear Susan and co

Cal arrived after the scedule. Danish students with flags and the host families were all there. We took the train to Nivå, and Cal got his room. After an hour did Bjarke and he go for a walk in the cold but sunny weather. They actually went to the beach. At 7 am we are going to dine- and Cal is taking a nap right now.
He is tired but full of smiles- and the two"cap-boys" talk non stop. I´m sure its gonna be fun.
I thought you would like to know.
Yours Vibe
________________________________________

Two unrelated stories

I finally figured out why I like driving my big Buick so much. When I was 16-17 my family acquired an old (even at that time) Ford Galaxy which was a yucky color of green. For some reason, I loved driving that car. Today when I heard "After the Love Has Gone" by Earth, Wind and Fire, I remembered a moment at the old SuperAmerica gas station in that car with that song playing. Back then, all we had was radio, so when your favorite song came on, the world stopped. That car was a divine boat to drive, but had a habit of over heating. I did use that to my advantage from time to time when I wanted to play the damsel in distress. Well, the Buick LeSabre is the biggest car I've driven since then and I love the smooth ride.

When I visited St. Petersburg, Russia in 2001, it was very clear the impact of World War II was profound on the city and its people. The guides often spoke of the devastation, starvation,and near destruction of their city by the Neva by the Germans. They are proud to have prevailed to save their city.

"City of Thieves" by David Benioff is a character sketch set in St. Petersburg under seige during this time period. Lev, a naive and sexually inexperienced 17 year old Jew, and Kolya, a cocky, confident, ladies man of 22 who has been accused of deserting the army are an unlikely pairing who meet in jail. The story revolves around a desperate search for a dozen eggs but more aptly depicts the emotional maturation of a boy becoming a man with stunning and simple, humorous and brutal prose. I am near the middle of the book and already know it is one I wish would never end. I am parceling it out slowly so I can savor it fully.

Life

Better than the alternative, in the words of Dick Vick.

Sometimes life is better than I expected, like yesterday, when my house was filled with music, Boy17 and his friends jamming on guitar and trumpet. I always wanted a house filled with music.

Life is definitely better than my dreams, which have been tortured, miserable messes.

Feeling good after 2:15 workout and finishing that damned bicycle portion of the triathalon. Cup of coffee, life is good...yes, I am a triathelete. haha Loosened up the sore muscles of Thursday's killer yoga session. My friend Karen kicks it on the yoga mat. I thank her for inviting me to her class. We haven't been socializing since I dropped out of the church and goddess night fizzled out a few years ago. Nonetheless, she is one of my favorite people, genuinely a good soul. We met in yoga class, she reminded me. I remember seeing her and thinking I would like to be her friend and eventually it happened. Funny how that goes sometimes.

I called Boy22 this afternoon and guess what? He was on his way to Macomb. Got a ride here, and a truck meeting him tomorrow to haul his bed to Springfield. Seems the boy doesn't want to sleep on a couch the rest of his life. A weird next step. His hair is sheered (all three boys have fresh haircuts), and he seems more focused and happy than I've seen him a couple of years. He has secured two jobs, possibly three. I saw proof he enrolled in his final one credit of college, which I swear I didn't ask for. I'm letting go of control. The first job is at a Japanese steakhouse. The second is stocking displays in stores for greeting cards and Frito Lay. His friends all seem to have a little more money than he does, so maybe that will keep him motivated to work hard.

Super Bowl Menu

Turkey Rueben Sandwiches
Pork fried rice
Pre-made vegetable tray - too lazy even to unpackage my own veggies
Pigs in blanket
Flatbread and hummus
Tossed salad

I'm not even really planning to watch the game.


Me at work on Friday. No, I don't work in a prison, it's a school!! Need interior design helper.

Pines of Rome

I am learning about music by osmosis, that is, Boy17's musical experience. He has gone so far above and beyond my feeble high school band training. Obviously, I didn't have the talent or drive to excel in music. Yesterday afternoon was the Illinois All-State concert at the Peoria Civic Center. Boy17 chaired second trumpet in the Honors Orchestra, which is just about as good it gets in high school musicianship.

I don't know much about orchestral music, but his group was slated to play only one piece, Respighi's Pines of Rome. Respighi is such a cool name. The piece was written in 1924 and has four movements. I couldn't detect any flaws in the performance. It is an epic symphonic poem and was greeted with a standing ovation. It was easy to spot Boy17, since we didn't get the "Black Tie" memo. We were told suit and tie, so I got him a new suitcoat, brown. You can see the result. Well, I thought he was handsome, and I'm incredibly proud. How Pat and I find ourselves in this world of classical music is mind boggling, I guess we are just blessed!



The Honors Orchestra had the only out of state conductor, Jung-Ho Pak from Cape Cod and San Diego (who apparently has a lot of frequent flier miles). Eli enjoyed his enthusiam and expertise enormously. Just working with the musicians in the camps and programs he has been involved with is a huge benefit to his own growth. He was on Cloud 9 after the concert, as well as exhausted. "Maestro" literally conducts with his entire body. He obviously knew the piece well, and used no music, stand, or baton. He was almost dancer-like.



Jung-Ho

Golden Globes

Thank you Betsy for getting me addicted to movies again. Since I've been reading Entertainment Weekly weekly, I'm pretty tuned into this years awards nominees. I have seen most of the nominated films. The Golden Globes (GG) were thus a really interesting show for me, plus Matt Damon was seated right in front of the stage and got numerous camera views besides his presentation to Al Pacino or Robert DeNiro or one of them old guys. My first comment is that I'm happy to see Matt's non-celebrity wife is looking more and more comfortable at these events. It would be hard to walk in there and be compared to Angelina Jolie and the gang.

My first comment is, I love the way Annette Benning embraces her age. She is not trying to glam it up whatsoever. Maybe she just feels great next to her 80 year old husband Warren Beatty, so she doesn't have to put on any airs. But the hair, interchangable with Al Pacino? If you missed it, try Google images. It's awful.

Christian Bale is as nutty as his character Dicky Eklund in the "The Fighter." When he got up after winning his GG and started talking in a British accent I thought he was putting it on. So, after seeing "The Fighter" tonight I doubted myself after I told Pat he is British. He did Boston well. He is from England. He and Jeremy Renner from "The Town" and "Hurt Locker" are two excellent character actors who will probably keep reaping the awards.

I about threw up in my mouth when Natalie Portman gave her little speech. I thought "Black Swan" was really good for a horror genre film, but her little baby raspy voice is annoying. And when she announced she was pregnant and her 'boyfriend' loves to sleep with her which proves he's a good actor (and incidentally not a gay ballet dancer), ugh. I guess her awkward extended laugh afterwards has gone viral.

I was actually touched by Claire Danes' acceptance and tribute to Temple Grandin, the talented animal scientist with autism. Ditto for Chris Colfer, the gay teen on Glee.

Kudos to "The Social Network" which sounds really boring but wasn't, unless of course you are not addicted to Facebook.

Loved Ricky Gervais as host. Who is this guy? I thought it interesting that the celebrities were not laughing at what I thought were pretty funny jokes. I think they were afraid to be seen endorsing the ridiculing of their peers. Entertainment Weekly had an editorial calling him "Icky Ricky" because he was mean. Oh boo, the Academy Awards with Anne Hathaway don't stand a chance of cracking a smile. Ricky got on Hugh Hefner and many of the presentors like Tim Allen, Robert Downey, Jr., Sylvester Stallone, and Bruce Willis (Ashton Kutcher's dad). My favorite line of the night which I'm surprised even got broadcast was the closing, "And thank you to God...for making me an athiest."

Friday

It was a good, good week. I never had a moment of 'what do I do now?' At times I felt like I bit off more than I can chew, juggling too many balls, but then I found it exhilarating. I went to bed at 7:00 last night, read a tiny bit of "Hunger Games" then fell asleep until right before the alarm at 5:20 a.m. As a result I need about two hours at the gym tonight. I skipped the last two nights of doing anything but American Idol (awful, I thought), eating and sleeping. Boy16 has a game about 1:15 hours away and I already drove my two hour commute today, so I am skipping. I did talk to him and he is recovering from the flu, Dad is going to the game, and it's iffy if he will play or not. So hello, triathlon numbers!

Post Script:
I managed 2 and a half hours of activity (30 minutes circuit weights, 3 miles walking, 4 miles biking and 12 laps swimming), boy a couple days off really can ramp up the energy level, that and working off a little stress (and I haven't had coffee since 10:00 a.m.). This while thinking of Texas Sheet Cake almost continously, in between PTSD flashbacks of Virginia (the 75-80 year old lady who liked to lather up with the water off) having a straight up conversation while delivering a 45 second audible fart in the locker room. Speaking of locker rooms, young girls can be a snarky bunch after a long swim practice. I was about to intervene when I came out of the bathroom stall and one had a clipboard so I guess she was the adult in charge, but I swear she was the loudest, most inappropriate one of the group. I managed to mind my own business after asking one of the girls if that was the coach.

Coming tomorrow: My take on the Globes, Golden.