My ponder for this weekend is, that people say not to make major decisions after a traumatic event. One rationale is that you (I) might be making life changes to try and change the way I feel. I have been having the thought a lot lately, if I'm miserable doing this, I'm going to be miserable doing that. I do know that I am someone who can be happy with the least of things, and miserable when I have everything.
I feel pretty grounded, not to say I don't have daily waves of sadness/fear/panic. I honestly don't know where I get my strength to keep going and actually accomplish things. Tonight for example I am pushing away feelings I feel too tired to have. I am up in what has become my corner of Adam's room where I often retreat with my book, journal and tablet. Last night I was laughing at YouTube videos, tonight crying for my lost boy.
I will have to keep making decisions as they come and hope they turn out okay.
No comments:
Post a Comment