When we got to the center, we remembered Adam and mixed some of his ashes with Tibetan sand from the World Peace mandala that Betsy saw in New Albany, IN in March. The monks painstakingly create the art and then it is swept away and its blessing sent out into the world. The sand reminds us of the impermanence of everything. How fitting, and comforting, too. I then suggested we throw it into the air in a Lebron-esque gesture and a good bit of it ended up on Betsy's face, stuck to her sweat.
As usually happens with Betsy, the serious moments are always cut with humor, something I dearly love about her. We laid down under a tree afterwards and enjoyed the refreshing breeze. This made us both break into song, "Let's Go Fly A Kite" which we had heard the night before at a showing of Mary Poppins. This was a song we used to sing as kids, but neither of us can remember why.
As we threw the sand I told Adam I release him, and I do feel like another step has been taken in my healing.
2 comments:
I told Adam he'd always be with me as I threw the ashes...now it's literally true. The labyrinth is a beautiful place. My card was Environment and I was reminded on it to change my surroundings. I wished that Adam had found another way to change his surroundings, his life, his outlook...but it comes back to me that to honor Adam, we all need to change our surroundings--make our lives better, improve, change, grow...not necessarily to uproot or run away but take what we have, be grateful and re-shape it, like an artist working in clay.
What happened with Adam's ashes reminds me of when we scattered my stepdad's ashes over the lake where he and my mom last lived, in Canada. In a big, romantic, and filmworthy gesture, my stepbrothers flew over the lake in a float plane and released the ashes from the window. The law of aerodynamics ensured that some of those ashes came back into the plane, however. They were pretty mum on the subject of how much and how the plane was divested of Paul's earthly remains. To this day, I chuckle when I see a float plane over the lake.
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