Olympus Camera

 I was getting my old digital camera ready to give away and thought I would check to see if there were any pictures I might need on it. This one nearly sucked the wind out of me:

Here we have all the Vick grandchildren sitting on the couch on Christmas Day 2015. Adam looks so unwell. He must be less than 120 pounds on a 5'7" frame. How did I not notice? Why did I not do something different? 

Ethan is tickling Adam's head with one of those pronged scalp massagers. He looks thrilled, doesn't he? They are just sitting there unaware of the hell he was probably going through. We all were. Five weeks later he was gone. 

This has me in a funk, but that's okay. I need to remember the nights I cried myself to sleep every night. I had a dream this week where I was arguing with Adam. I didn't like it.  

                                       

Here we have Hannah tickling Ethan with Christmas presents and junk spread out on the coffee table. Adam is snarling, which he was doing in several other pictures over that holiday break.

I just finished a mother's memoir of suicide loss, I'll Write His Name on Every Beach. I will, too, Adam, I will, too.