My e-mailbox was full again at work. Cleaning it out, I found some messages from 2/2/16 when my world changed immeasurably. I can feel the heavy weight of winter and loss as the anniversary approaches. My thoughts are turning more and more to that day and what led up to it for Adam and myself. It is painful but necessary work.

I was very busy over the holidays, a distraction really. Now, I get ready for another day of work and hope to God there is never another day like 2-2-16. Two weeks from Friday will be two years. Some say the second year is harder, but I wouldn't say that. There is more a sense Adam being left behind, but also happy moments when acceptance and peace fill my heart.

I keep certain things the way they were that day, like those messages in my saved file. His chapstick, Aveeno lotion, a book on my dresser. One day they will change and be gone, but never, never will my best boy be far from my thoughts. One day I will be where he is, we all will. Life is given and taken in its own time.