I'm not talking about power train speed, I'm talking my lifespan so far. Although sometimes it feels like I got here in accelerated time, and I am still that little girl with her nose in a book.
60 is just 15 times 4, right? Interesting way to look back on my life that occurred to me today.
0-15 forming my identity. I thought of myself as a pretty, book worm-y, fairly popular band kid. Quiet, an introvert, smart.
15-30 whoa, those are some crazy years. I drank a lot, got married twice, divorced once and became a mom. I suppose I could say I laid the stage for some better years ahead. My identity was pretty shaky in this time frame.
30-45 a move back to my hometown, parents nearby and raising 3 boys in small town mid-America. Working and just surviving, fixing up my old childhood home. I am still an introvert but craved social interaction. I quit drinking and saved my liver many years of toil. A wife and mother contained my identity.
45-60 going back to school, focusing on career, building a solid work record when, bam out of nowhere, we lost Adam. All the boys were out of the house, graduated from college or close, bills were paid, we thought we made it. My identity became the face of suicide awareness and prevention, mental health and wellness. Eli and Cal thrived, got married, moved, and overcame the loss of their big brother. We all adapted in our own ways, but we stuck together and I felt the true strength of family, as I never have before.
60-75 what will this period bring? My hope is to grow more peaceful, be more present, compassionate towards myself and others, and continue to live with purpose. I am certain I can handle whatever life hands me. I have realized my true strength.
1 comment:
Reading one of Dad's journals again and I admire the way you and he both take stock of your lives, your accomplishments and your heartaches. I wish I could develop the same commitment--maybe when I'm 60! :-) It never is too old to start.
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