Pieces

 Everyone who ever knew or met Adam has a piece of him. This occurred to me walking on the Y track today when I encountered a retired janitor from the high school, who interacted with every single kid who set foot in MHS. What a good heart. I can tell by Facebook posts he treats and supports every kid equally, whether they had money, nice clothes, or different color skin than he. He has a piece of Adam but he didn't share. I get it, it's hard to talk to someone about their dead child (among other things, it makes you think 'what if I lost my child?' 'what if I cry', and yes, I've been on the other side, pre-2/2/16), and honestly, today I would have burst into tears if he did; just thinking what he "could" say had me tearing up. People can't stand it when a grieving parent cries; they absolutely don't know what to do. Unless they've been there, too.

I have gotten many valuable pieces of Adam from different people and damn, am I grateful. Those mean more to me than any "I'm sorry" ever will. Sorry, not sorry; I do appreciate the sorrys, but I hunger for the stories and bits and pieces, even if they are unflattering. 

The last thing I want is a false story, made up to make me feel better. Sometimes I sniff those out, but I can never be sure. People are so multi-faceted that maybe some impressions that don't ring true, are true. The hardest to believe are things like "he loved you so much," "he talked about you," and "he really looked forward to seeing you." Maybe those are true, but him saying that to someone else?? Hard to picture. I'm just being honest. 

And so I wait for the next nugget to drop. I'd like to ask, but don't want to make anyone feel uncomfortable. I'll let you know what I hear, and you can decide if it's true or not.