So weird

I got a piece of mail for Adam today, from Film Streams in Omaha, an advertisement, but still. I never got mail for him before he died (or I don't remember because it wasn't significant then), so I find these little pop-up surprises quite delightful.

I'm reading a newer book on grief called "It's Okay That You're Not Okay" by Megan Devine which turns traditional grief models and theories upside down. Maybe that is why Adam has been more or less on my mind all the time lately. One thing that struck me was the observation that everything becomes a trigger, or reminder because you can always think "he's not here for this holiday" "he'll never see this" "he wasn't alive when this even existed" and on and on.

It doesn't mean there is anything wrong. I consider myself rather well-adjusted in fact. This quote fits perfectly here.

After attending AFSP volunteer training last weekend and realizing the suicide rate is going up not down, I am even more committed to fighting this battle in whatever way I can. It is a large war, and the answers aren't easy. They are bigger, bigger than me or my community. The most hopeful thing I heard again last weekend is, Suicide is Preventable. On a personal 1:1 basis I can make a difference, and I can keep raising funds for research and advocacy on the macro level.

I met some amazing women at my table at the training. I got all their emails and am going to connect with them again. Suicide is hitting our young people hard, and I feel so much for them.